It kind of crept up on me. One day, sitting at my workstation, I stopped typing,
stared blankly at the screen for a few seconds, and a switch flipped in my head.

On the night of New Year’s Eve, my backpack was stolen from me on the train from
Berlin to Amsterdam, and with it about $2000 worth of equipment, clothes, and so
on. A portent for the year that was to come. I generally keep my private and
public lives carefully separated, but perhaps I will offer you a peek behind the
curtain today.

It seems like every week or two this year, another crisis presented itself, each
manageable in isolation. Some were independent events, others snowballed as the
same problems escalated. Gossip at the hackerspace, my personal life put on
display and mocked. A difficult break-up in February, followed by a close friend
facing their own relationship’s hurtful end. Another close friend – old, grave
problems, once forgotten, remembered, and found to still be causing harm. Yet
another friend, struggling to deal with depression and emotional abuse at the
hands of their partner. Another friendship still: lost, perhaps someday to be
found again.

Dependable Drew, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, always knowing the
right words to say, ready to help and proud to be there for his friends. Friends
who, amidst these crises, are struggling to be there for him.

These events, set over the background of a world on fire.

One of the more difficult crises in my purview reached its crescendo one week
ago, culminating in death. A selfish end for a selfish person, a person who had
hurt people I love; a final, cruel cut to the wounds we were trying to heal.

I took time for myself throughout these endless weeks, looked after myself as
best I could, and allowed my productivity to wane as necessary, unburdened by
guilt in so doing. I marched on when I had the energy to, and made many
achievements I’m proud of.

Something changed this week. I have often remarked that when you’re staring down
a hard problem, one which might take years or even decades to finish, that you
have two choices: give up or get to work. The years are going to pass either
way. I am used to finding myself at the base of a mountain, picking up my
shovel, and getting started. Equipped with this mindset, I have patiently ground
down more than one mountain in my time. But this week, for the first time in my
life, as I gazed upon that mountain, I felt intimidated.

I’m not sure what the purpose of this blog post is. Perhaps I’m sharing an
experience that others might be able to relate to. Perhaps it’s healing in some
way. Maybe it’s just indulgent.

I’m going to take the time I need to rest. I enjoy the company of wonderful
colleagues at SourceHut, who have been happy to pick up some of the slack. I
have established a formal group of maintainers for Hare and given them my
blessing to work without seeking my approval. My projects will remain healthy as
I take a leave. See you soon.

Articles from blogs I read

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Fast Multi-Accumulator Reducers

Again with the reductions! I keep writing code which reduces over a collection, keeping track of more than one variable. For instance, here’s one way to find the mean of a collection of integers:
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Summary of changes for March 2023

Hey everyone! This is the list of all the changes we’ve done to our projects and apps during the month of March. We’ll also be reporting in our on position in the world, and on our future plans.

Summary Of Changes

Donsol, added 100r logo to spla…

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